The Ham Museum!

Do you have your cheap tickets to Madrid yet? Well, it’s time to start planning your trip! With the money you’ve saved, it’s time to visit Madrid in style, and enjoy each of the seven deadly sins along the way. You’ll have plenty of wine at your disposal to put you in the mood. Here’s what you should do when you’re good and soaked:

Greed: Squeeze everything you can out of Madrid without paying for it – including the air! Get high on what the city offers, quite literally. A study, a few years ago, found traces of cocaine in the air… so breathe deep.

Pride: Experience the pride of Madrid with a visit to the Museo Reina Sofia. Make sure you check out the painting “Guernica” by Pablo Picasso, and see one of the best reasons Madrid has to be proud.

Sloth: Do absolutely nothing at the Jardin Botanico. Find a nice patch of grass, and make it your own. Sprawl out; close your eyes. Let everyone else trouble themselves with walking – you’re on vacation! Take it easy. Maybe, if you’re feeling a little ambitious, take a short stroll around before returning to your perfect, serene spot. Just don’t do it in the middle of the afternoon, as you’ll be no more slothful, so to speak, than anyone else!

Envy: Take a stroll over to the Royal Palace of Madrid … and accept the fact that you will never enjoy such opulence for yourself. Sure, the King of Spain doesn’t live there anymore, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be jealous – just think of the staff you’d have at your disposal!

Gluttony: Sit down to ham – a lot of it – at the Museo del Jamon. The long menu contains more types of ham and dishes featuring it than you probably thought were possible. Eat yourself senseless, and then waddle out the door.

Lust: Of course, the locals will catch your eye, but to truly get your motor running, you need to cross Gran Via and enter the city’s “red light” district. You’ll have no trouble finding a party – whatever your interests – at the bars in this part of town, and the stores offer up the sorts of “souvenirs” you wouldn’t normally buy.

Wrath: Light up a big fat cigar in a restaurant … the city has gone smoke-free.
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photo: malias